acorns ARE cute

i am going to outdoor school tomorrow night for the third time to be a camp councillor. i am so excited that i can not even write something rad for this blogpost. my nature name is going to be acorn.

i need a new pair of shoes

there comes a time when you can choose to be just like me or just like you. i don't know what's working. am i going to really climb this whole new mountain? there's a chinook over the horizon, the wind is drumming against the oaks and the spruces. the birds are being thrown back towards the Atlantic Sea, beating their wings with the might in their bones, full of worms and sun flower seeds. i thought the shoes i picked out today would keep my soles on the flat, always-there ground, thought they would suit my anxious muscles and my never-faltering urge to turn right around and run back to my bed that is full of bread crumbs. i have dirty feet, looking older than they are because they've been on broken glass and pine needles during my midnight wanderings through the neighbourhood. i walk because the street lights hide my name that i have written all over my dead skin. it's dead for there hasn't been a single arm to wrap around me, to keep the heat and love in.

i've built myself a well for this dry spell - i knew i would need to be refreshed in the days that the rain refused to drop from the clouds and into our palms. i wondered when the rope would fray itself too much and when that bucket would crash down to the depths. i need so much water! i know i have the luck of a tire rolling over a field of cacti and angry scorpions. i thought that would would last me only 365 days with how hard i pull it against the stones. it looks like there must be angel hair weaved through the twine; i'm still hauling the bucket up. this will never be a solution to my flaky skin and that's why i'm here now, with my shovel and sweat bands, throwing dirt piles into my well.

this is the labour that i need, just like the pioneers who never knew about distracting drugs that saved a tortured mind. i'll always have magic on my side, though. i don't need to fly high in my mind with a fake hope of happiness and faith. you don't know what i know so i wish you a patirent mind as i top off my well with a daisy i picked from the grass lands. just know, you're the reason why i blistered my hands and clogged my pores. i don't need the extra hydration. believe me when i say, my dry spell shot itself in the toe.

if you figure

did i ever know my words were sent to you?

T Y P E W R I T E R

the greatest news: a typewriter rests within my Leadership classroom and i can use it at my leisure.

the worst news: modern technology has ensured that mistakes can be erased at a touch of a key which has backlashed with the result of many, many errors

yesterday i wrote:

i have a word or two that i would like to

share with you. it might come easy for

me to stare at you and to listen to the

way you breath and sigh. i bet you can

imagine what your eyeswill never see

and what isgoing to come you way soon.

i'm not really struggling for anything

here eventhough i have spent an hour

just hitting these keys to tell you

that i have something to say, even

thogh i am already saying more than

iintended to ever say to you.

you.

you.

you.

i can hit those keys perfectly because

i have spent my lie of a life writing

to you.

there i go again.

did i ever know it was you that my

words werebeing sent outto. did i ever

mean for all my days to lead up

to this letter righthere?

only the ghosts will know.

they are the ones who would hear my cries

into the lonley shadows that followed

mealongthe side walks at night,when i

looked forthe stars among the clouds.

i made afriend with the moon,who i knew

couldunderstand what i was saying

as i jumped over crack, after crack.

the moon is only bright one time a month,

for therest sheis over thrown by the sun

who determines her each night by how she f

eels. we have a fathomed understanding, th

the moon and i.

look, i just want you to be my sun. iwant

you to lightme up, but never leave my side

we;ll share the space together,we willneve

r run away from the other.

justbefair to me,et let me be a new moon

eachand every night that i stand inthe sky.

what would you like to do today, sir?

1. sing "good morning" to the sun

2. dance with it across the sky

3. catch it as it falls to the earth

4. all of the above

i'm going to cut myself some slack